Earlier I described my thoughts about Quinn’s up-coming birthday, including a series of interlocking issues:

  • I would like to get her something special, especially something that we can do together.
  • It should be something that Sophie has never had before, to make clear that our parental affections are not influenced by birth order in the slightest.
  • But Quinn has a talent for self-injury.
  • And Sophie is going to freak out if Quinn gets a bike before her.
  • Our street and immediate neighborhood aren’t conducive for children biking.

hanselAfter tallying the votes, 23 readers said get Quinn the bike, and 2 readers said do NOT get the bike.  I discussed in detail with some friends and colleagues, and settled on a compromise that I think resolves all five issues described above.

I’m going to get Quinn a Razor scooter, like the one used by Hansel (Owen Wilson) in Zoolander.  As an aside, I’m tickled to be able to reference Bach, Mark Helprin, The Illiad, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, High Fidelity, and now Zoolander in this blog.  Trashy comedies are my go-to entertainment these days, so expect more references along the same general lines of Zoolander.

Merits of the scooter:

  • It is lower to the ground and easier to control, thus decreasing the likelihood of an ER-worthy injury (God forbid, I’ve had enough ERs and hospitals for several decades).
  • I can get Sophie her own (in fact, I’ve already ordered it) and give it to her a week or ten days after Quinn’s birthday, when the memory has faded somewhat scooterand there’s no obvious connection between Quinn’s birthday and Sophie getting a present (which would be a terrible precedent to set, and possibly end up in an unflattering portrait of my parenting in Quinn’s memoirs).
  • Scooters fold up very nicely, and two of them including safety gear, can be easily stored in the trunk of a minivan, or  carried down the block to a convenient church parking lot.

Quinn’s big day is July 21 – she will be 4 years old.  Pictures of mobile danger girl coming as soon as I have them.  I splurged an extra $6 to get the tassels: she should be pleased.